Pillars of the community were locked up last Thursday “for good.” Anonymous citizens in the Muscular Dystrophy Association Witness Protection Program put out warrants for area residents for various charges, forcing them to spend a day in lockup.

To get out of lockup at the Maximum Appreciation Facility at the Seven Bridges Restaurant in Onalaska, they had to raise money for MDA. After turning themselves in, the jailbirds had their mug shots taken, were shown to their jail cells and given bread and water.

As an habitual offender serving her second stint in the slammer, Teresa Schnitzler, the village administrator for West Salem, managed to bail out before photographers arrived. She said she had been “accused of having a big heart and caring too much about others.”

Jane Sackmaster of Rockland said she was still waiting to hear the charges, but was already working on her bail money. Actually, she said, “They’ve been after me for six years. I finally had a day off and I thought I’d help out. It’s for a good cause.”

Corry Van Aelstyn, a realtor from Brice Prairie for Cindy Gerke & Associates, was charged with insubordination. “They charged me with being a woman who doesn’t know how to keep her mouth shut,” she said.

Charged with murder, Alana Hess, who works at Curves in Holmen, was the worst offender; it was a while before she raised enough bail money. “It was an unsolved mystery and they nailed me for it,” she said.

Jackie Strutt of Onalaska, a lecturer and teacher of education at the University of Wisconsin-La Crosse, said she got a phone call saying she had been charged and should report to lock up at 11 a.m. “I was charged with talking too much,” Strutt said. “And laughing too much.”

Bill Pohl’s crime was jay-wheeling. “I thought it was for excess speed on my wheelchair,” he said. “But I wasn’t going over the speed limit.” While on the phone with a friend asking for money he said, “If I can’t get enough bail money, I’ll eat them out of house and home.”

An Onalaska resident, Pohl said he wanted to give back to the community after area residents hosted a benefit on his behalf after his legs were amputated last year.

“I wanted to give back a bit for the generosity of the people that held a benefit for me last year,” he said. “Plus it’s an awful disease.”

The Onalaska/La Crosse MDA Lock-Up is part of the MDA’s year-long fundraising campaign spearheaded each year by the Jerry Lewis MDA Telethon. Bail money raised provides assistance with the purchase of wheelchairs, leg braces and communication devices for children and adults with MD.